Poem to read

DIWALI
by Vikram Seth

Three years of neurotic
Guy Fawkes Days - I recall
That lonely hankering -
But I am home after all.

Home. These walls, this sky
Splintered with wakes of light
These mud-lamps beaded round
The eaves, this festive night,

These streets, these voices...yet
The old insensate dread,
Abeyant as that love,
Once more shifts in my head.

Five? Six? generations ago
Somewhere in the Punjab
My father's family, farmers,
Perhaps had a small shop

And two generations later
Could send a son to a school
To gain the conqueror's
Authoritarian seal:

English! Six-armed god,
Key to a job, to power,
Snobbery, the good life,
This separateness, this fear.

English: beloved language
of Jonson, Wordsworth's tongue-
These my "meridian names"
Whose grooves I crawl along.

The Moghuls fought and ruled
And settled. Even while
They hungered for musk-melon,
Rose, peach, nightingale,

The land assumed their love.
At sixty they could not
Retire westwards. The British
Made us the Orient.

How could an Englishman say
About the divan-e-khas
"If there is heaven on earth
It is this; it is this; it is this."?

Macaulay the prophet of learning
Chewed at his pen: one taste
Of Western wisdom "surpasses
All the books of the East,"

And Kalidas, Shankaracharya,
Panini, Bhaskar, Kabir,
Surdas sank, and we welcomed
The reign of Shakespeare.

The undigested Hobbes,
The Mill who later ground
(Through talk of liberty)
The Raj out of the land ...

O happy breed of Babus,
I march on with your purpose;
We will have railways, common law
And a good postal service -

And I twist along
Those grooves from image to image,
Violet, elm-tree, swan,
Pork-pie, gable, scrimmage

And as we title our memoirs
"Roses in December"
Though we all know that here
Roses *grow* in December

And we import songs
Composed in the U.S
For Vietnam (not even
Our local horrors grip us)

And as, over gin at the Club,
I note that egregious member
Strut just perceptibly more
When with a foreigner,

I know that the whole world
Means exile of our breed
Who are not home at home
And are abroad abroad,

Huddled in towns, while around:
"He died last week. My boys
Are starving. Daily we dig
The ground for sweet potatoes."

"The landlord's hirelings broke
My husband's ribs - and I
Grow blind in the smoke of the hearth."
"Who will take care of me

When I am old? No one
Is left." So it goes on,
The cyclic shadow-play
Under the sinister sun;

That sun that, were there water,
Could bless the dispirited land,
Coaxing three crops a year
From this same yieldless ground.

Yet would these parched wraiths still
Starve in their ruins, while
"Silkworms around them grow
Into fat cocoons?", Sad soil,

This may as well be my home.
Because no other nation
Moves me thus? What of that?
Cause for congratulation?

This could well be my home;
I am too used to the flavor
Of tenous fixity;
I have been brought to savour

Its phases: the winter wheat -
The flowers of Har-ki-Doon -
The sal forests - the hills
Inflamed with rhododendron -

The first smell of the Rains
On the baked earth - the peaks
Snow-drowned in permanence --
The single mountain lakes.

What if my tongue is warped?
I need no words to gaze
At Ajanta, those flaked caves,
Or at the tomb of Mumtaz;

And when an alap of Marwa
Swims on slow flute-notes over
The neighbours' roofs at sunset
Wordlessly like a lover

It holds me - till the strain
Of exile, here or there,
Subverts the trance, the fear
Of fear found everywhere.

"But freedom?" the notes would sing...
Parole is enough. Tonight
Below the fire-crossed sky
Of the Festival of Light.

Give your soul leave to feel
What distilled peace it can;
In lieu of joy, at least
This lapsing anodyne.

"The world is a bridge. Pass over it,
Building no house upon it."
Acceptance may come with time;
Rest, then disquieted heart.

Learning how to love....

... Yourself
(from a newsletter)
February is the month of valentine's day, a day
where we express love to our significant others or
close friends with greetings and gifts. But be it
single or attached as much as we want to show love
to the ones around us that matter, we often forget
to extend this love to the person that matters the
most – ourselves.

Self-Love is defined as a state of
appreciation for oneself that grows from actions
that support our physical, psychological, and
spiritual growth. It is a mindset that is built up over
time, where one places their own well-being and
happiness in high priority and does not sacrifice
their well-being or settle for less to please others.

Self-Love can be expressed in many ways, such
as giving yourself a break from self-judgement,
being true to yourself, setting healthy boundaries,
taking breaks from work, or even eating healthily,
but occasionally indulging in your favourite foods.
However, many people still find it very difficult
to love themselves. This is because as humans
we tend to have a negativity bias, where we
more readily register negative stimuli and dwell
more on these events. As such our mistakes and
messes are more salient to us, and we may beat
ourselves down about them, rather than choosing
to remember our strengths and using them to
edify our perception of ourselves.

Loving yourself
involves facing our insecurities to wholly accept
ourselves, yet sometimes it is hard to face the
parts of us that we hate, hindering us from truly
accepting ourselves as we are.
How to Better Love Yourself
Know Your Value, Don't Be Swayed
It is easy for us to give in to the temptation to
compare ourselves with others to assess our skills,
abilities, and achievements. We may find ourselves
relying on what other people have to say about us
to determine our self-worth (even when some of
these things may not be true). As an individual, we
should acknowledge our strengths and appreciate
our own value, rather than letting our impressions
of ourselves be swayed by what other people have
to say about us.
Stop Self Deprecating Behaviours
When we make a little mistake, we may call
ourselves "Stupid" or "A Mess" or even "A
Complete Failure". However, showing yourself
self-love means understanding that while we all
make mistakes, you are not a failure, you just have
not reached your goal yet. Our self-perception
can also affect the outcome of our pursuits
and can determine success or failure. When
we unconsciously broadcast our negative self-
beliefs in times of failure, we not only affect our
self-perception, but also the way others perceive
and treat us. We can show ourselves, self-love,
by replacing hindering self-beliefs with positive
affirmations and being proud of even our smallest
achievements.

Take Care of Yourself, Adopt Healthy Habits
Start caring for yourself by doing things "For
You" – be it in the food you choose to eat, how
you exercise, or what you spend time doing. Eat
well, exercise, get an adequate amount of rest and
keep your living space uncluttered. When your
basic needs are well met, you have less to worry
about and can go about your day to day in good
condition and a conducive environment.