Learning how to love....

... Yourself
(from a newsletter)
February is the month of valentine's day, a day
where we express love to our significant others or
close friends with greetings and gifts. But be it
single or attached as much as we want to show love
to the ones around us that matter, we often forget
to extend this love to the person that matters the
most – ourselves.

Self-Love is defined as a state of
appreciation for oneself that grows from actions
that support our physical, psychological, and
spiritual growth. It is a mindset that is built up over
time, where one places their own well-being and
happiness in high priority and does not sacrifice
their well-being or settle for less to please others.

Self-Love can be expressed in many ways, such
as giving yourself a break from self-judgement,
being true to yourself, setting healthy boundaries,
taking breaks from work, or even eating healthily,
but occasionally indulging in your favourite foods.
However, many people still find it very difficult
to love themselves. This is because as humans
we tend to have a negativity bias, where we
more readily register negative stimuli and dwell
more on these events. As such our mistakes and
messes are more salient to us, and we may beat
ourselves down about them, rather than choosing
to remember our strengths and using them to
edify our perception of ourselves.

Loving yourself
involves facing our insecurities to wholly accept
ourselves, yet sometimes it is hard to face the
parts of us that we hate, hindering us from truly
accepting ourselves as we are.
How to Better Love Yourself
Know Your Value, Don't Be Swayed
It is easy for us to give in to the temptation to
compare ourselves with others to assess our skills,
abilities, and achievements. We may find ourselves
relying on what other people have to say about us
to determine our self-worth (even when some of
these things may not be true). As an individual, we
should acknowledge our strengths and appreciate
our own value, rather than letting our impressions
of ourselves be swayed by what other people have
to say about us.
Stop Self Deprecating Behaviours
When we make a little mistake, we may call
ourselves "Stupid" or "A Mess" or even "A
Complete Failure". However, showing yourself
self-love means understanding that while we all
make mistakes, you are not a failure, you just have
not reached your goal yet. Our self-perception
can also affect the outcome of our pursuits
and can determine success or failure. When
we unconsciously broadcast our negative self-
beliefs in times of failure, we not only affect our
self-perception, but also the way others perceive
and treat us. We can show ourselves, self-love,
by replacing hindering self-beliefs with positive
affirmations and being proud of even our smallest
achievements.

Take Care of Yourself, Adopt Healthy Habits
Start caring for yourself by doing things "For
You" – be it in the food you choose to eat, how
you exercise, or what you spend time doing. Eat
well, exercise, get an adequate amount of rest and
keep your living space uncluttered. When your
basic needs are well met, you have less to worry
about and can go about your day to day in good
condition and a conducive environment.